One state, two state, red state, blue state.
Trump state, Biden state.
Cuomo state, Newsom state.
Free state, locked state.
Brave state, panicked state.
Warm state, cold state.
Sunny state, storm state.
This one has a Golden Gate.
This one has a Trump estate.
Yes. Some are red, and some are blue.
Some are old and some are new.
Some are sad, and some are glad,
And some are very, very bad.
Why are they sad and glad and troubled?
I do not know, go ask your government.
From there to here, from here to there,
Funny things are everywhere.
Potato Head has no balls,
A girl’s a boy, a boy’s a girl.
We see them come, we see them go,
Some are fast, and some are slow.
Some are fast like the defeat of ISIS.
Some are slow like Joe Biden.
Not one of them is like another.
Don’t ask me why, go ask your mother.
Say! Look at his fingers! One, two, three…
How many fingers do I see?
We can’t count fingers anymore.
Math is racist, don’t you know.
If you ever rode a Wump,
You must have voted for Donald Trump.
If you vote for Donald Trump,
You are a stupid racist bum.
Do not vote for Donald Trump,
Just jump on the hump of the Wump of Gump.
Who am I? My name is Ben.
I do not like CNN.
CNN is not good.
CNN is not right.
They lie on the air every night.
Chris Cuomo has a huge q-tip,
Brian Stelter is a pompous wimp.
We like our van. It’s made for six.
We like to take it on fun trips.
This Tesla car is not for us.
We do not like you, Elon Musk.
Hello there, Ben. How do you do?
Tell me, tell me, what is new?
How are things in your little state?
Tell me, tell me, do not wait.
I do not like my state at all.
A lot of things are closed, you know.
The barbershops, the gyms, cafes.
Oh, what a state. Oh, what a mess.
Biden is old, his brain’s in a trance.
He has a dog he likes to chase.
He went to Texas, gave a speech,
And he forgot which state is which.
We took a look, we read a book.
We did not know the book wasn’t woke.
All books we read are now woke,
As “be less white” produced by Coke.
The moon was out and we saw some sheep,
They watch CNN before they sleep.
The sheep are woke, their ideas stink.
Don Lemon tells them what to think.
I do not like Bernie so well.
All he does is yell, yell, yell.
I will not have him hang about.
When he comes, I’ll put him out.
At our house we listen to Rush.
Our brains are not made of mush.
Rush said things that are true and good.
Do you listen to Rush? You should.
It is fun to sing if you sing with a Ying.
But Biden thinks that Ying is not a thing.
To sing with a Ying is a racist thing.
It stereotypes the Asian wing.
This one, I think, is called a Yink.
He likes to wink, he likes to drink.
He likes to smoke a little crack.
His name is Hunter, his laptop is back.
This one I think is called a Yank.
He likes to bang girls named Fang Fang,
He likes to fart on CNN.
Pelosi is his biggest fan.
Hop, hop, hop! My name is Mitt,
All I like to do is tweet,
I hop from Left to Right and then…
Hop, hop! I hop right back again.
I like to hop all day and night.
From Right to Left and Left to Right.
Why do I like to hop and jump?
Because I do not like Donald Trump.
Did you wear a mask today?
Did you stay 6 feet away?
Did you sanitize your food?
If you never did, you should.
These things are fun, and fun is good.
Hello, hello. Are you there?
Hello! I called you up to say hello.
My name is Justin Trudeau.
Can you hear me, Joe?
Oh no, I cannot hear your call.
I cannot hear your call at all.
I cannot hear what you said.
You should call Kamala instead.
Who am I? My name is AOC.
I failed math when I was three.
I need your money to help me wish.
When I wish to make a wish
I take your money and go fish.
Then I go wish in my own bed,
Then I get murdered by Ted.
At our house, we stand for the flag.
We respect the police, and we are not woke.
We read Dr. Seuss, Dr. Seuss is good.
Do you read Dr. Seuss to your kids? You should.
And now, Good night. It is time to sleep.
Stay strong you all, do not weep.
Today is gone. Today was fun.
Tomorrow is another one.
Every day, from here to there.
This country is great. We’ll win. Never fear.