One State, Two State (a Satirical Rendition of Dr. Seuss)

One state, two state, red state, blue state.

Trump state, Biden state.

Cuomo state, Newsom state.

Free state, locked state.

Brave state, panicked state.

Warm state, cold state.

Sunny state, storm state.

 

This one has a Golden Gate.

This one has a Trump estate.

Yes.  Some are red, and some are blue.

Some are old and some are new.

Some are sad, and some are glad,

And some are very, very bad.

Why are they sad and glad and troubled?

I do not know, go ask your government.

 

 

From there to here, from here to there,

Funny things are everywhere.

Potato Head has no balls,

A girl’s a boy, a boy’s a girl.

We see them come, we see them go,

Some are fast, and some are slow.

Some are fast like the defeat of ISIS.

Some are slow like Joe Biden.

Not one of them is like another.

Don’t ask me why, go ask your mother.

 

 

Say! Look at his fingers!  One, two, three…

How many fingers do I see?

We can’t count fingers anymore.

Math is racist, don’t you know.

 

 

 

If you ever rode a Wump,

You must have voted for Donald Trump.

If you vote for Donald Trump,

You are a stupid racist bum.

Do not vote for Donald Trump,

Just jump on the hump of the Wump of Gump.

Who am I?  My name is Ben.

I do not like CNN.

CNN is not good.

CNN is not right.

They lie on the air every night.

Chris Cuomo has a huge q-tip,

Brian Stelter is a pompous wimp.

 

We like our van.  It’s made for six.

We like to take it on fun trips.

This Tesla car is not for us.

We do not like you, Elon Musk.

 

 

 

 

Hello there, Ben.  How do you do?

Tell me, tell me, what is new?

How are things in your little state?

Tell me, tell me, do not wait.

I do not like my state at all.

A lot of things are closed, you know.

The barbershops, the gyms, cafes.

Oh, what a state.  Oh, what a mess.

 

 

Biden is old, his brain’s in a trance.

He has a dog he likes to chase.

He went to Texas, gave a speech,

And he forgot which state is which.

We took a look, we read a book.

We did not know the book wasn’t woke.

All books we read are now woke,

As “be less white” produced by Coke.

 

The moon was out and we saw some sheep,

They watch CNN before they sleep.

The sheep are woke, their ideas stink.

Don Lemon tells them what to think.

I do not like Bernie so well.

All he does is yell, yell, yell.

I will not have him hang about.

When he comes, I’ll put him out.

At our house we listen to Rush.

Our brains are not made of mush.

Rush said things that are true and good.

Do you listen to Rush?  You should.

 

It is fun to sing if you sing with a Ying.

But Biden thinks that Ying is not a thing.

To sing with a Ying is a racist thing.

It stereotypes the Asian wing.

This one, I think, is called a Yink.

He likes to wink, he likes to drink.

He likes to smoke a little crack.

His name is Hunter, his laptop is back.

This one I think is called a Yank.

He likes to bang girls named Fang Fang,

He likes to fart on CNN.

Pelosi is his biggest fan.

 

 

Hop, hop, hop! My name is Mitt,

All I like to do is tweet,

I hop from Left to Right and then…

Hop, hop! I hop right back again.

I like to hop all day and night.

From Right to Left and Left to Right.

Why do I like to hop and jump?

Because I do not like Donald Trump.

 

Did you wear a mask today?

Did you stay 6 feet away?

Did you sanitize your food?

If you never did, you should.

These things are fun, and fun is good.

 

 

Hello, hello. Are you there?

Hello! I called you up to say hello.

My name is Justin Trudeau.

Can you hear me, Joe?

Oh no, I cannot hear your call.

I cannot hear your call at all.

I cannot hear what you said.

You should call Kamala instead.

 

Who am I? My name is AOC.

I failed math when I was three.

I need your money to help me wish.

When I wish to make a wish

I take your money and go fish.

Then I go wish in my own bed,

Then I get murdered by Ted.

 

 

At our house, we stand for the flag.

We respect the police, and we are not woke.

We read Dr. Seuss, Dr. Seuss is good.

Do you read Dr. Seuss to your kids?  You should.

And now, Good night.  It is time to sleep.

Stay strong you all, do not weep.

Today is gone. Today was fun.

Tomorrow is another one.

Every day, from here to there.

This country is great.  We’ll win.  Never fear.

 

 RWR original article syndication source.

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Written by Tatyana Larina

Tatyana Larina comes from my favorite work of poetry.  And that's the only time you'll see me quoting Wikipedia as a source.

I came to the US in 1991, lived in San Francisco for 5 years, and I have a Computer Science degree.  I worked in software industry for several years, later switching to a career of a full time mom, and I never looked back.

In my younger days, I wasn’t a conservative. That is not to say that I was ever a liberal – I was not anything at all. I had no idea that there were such concepts as “conservative” and “liberal”. I did not pay attention to politics at all, and the most political knowledge you would get out of me would be who the US President was, and even for that you had to catch me on the right day.
My first introduction to politics was during the second Israeli intifada in 2002. Unspeakable violence erupted in Israel. Every day dozens of people were killed. Even though I didn’t follow politics, that deeply affected me. I felt sad, frustrated, and powerless. And one night, I happened to stumble on an MSNBC program called “Alan Keyes is making sense.” He was talking passionately about Israel and the violence, and he addressed my feelings very well.  Since that evening, I turned on Alan Keyes every night, and by his commentary he was able to take away some of the frustration and anger that I had. It was like a nightly therapy session.
Feeling intrigued after watching Alan Keyes, I wondered what else MSNBC had in store. I switched through the channels, and low and behold, I found Scarborough Country. Right off, Joe Scarborough wasn’t what he is today at all. He was a solid conservative (as I now understand), making common sense conservative points. I found him interesting and engaging. Opposing liberalism had not entered my mind at that time. I still didn’t know anything about liberalism. It was just the things he said sounded very common sense and worthwhile to me. Imagine that at some point, MSNBC had a conservative host on the air. Crazy times, ha?
Exploring my new political universe, I switched through more channels, and one night I found FOX. O’Reilly Factor was on. From the very first night, I was hooked. I abandoned Scarborough. O’Reilly was not just common sense – he was aggressive, and he was a fighter. He was Scarborough on steroids. He wasn’t just talking – he was taking on what he thought to be wrong and unjust. Ever since the first time, and until untimely end of Bill’s FOX career, I don’t think I ever missed one Factor.
For forming my political views, and my ability to formulate them, I have to give special credit to three people: Charles Krauthammer, Bill O’Reilly, and Greg Guttfeld.  To Charles - philosophy.  To Bill - realistic and pragmatic approach to politics.  To Greg - realization that a good joke will change more minds than a long lecture.
And for everything else, thanks to my family.

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