Dear Anyhooo Answers: He Hates My Cooking! – Tea Sandwiches, and Southern Cowboys Don’t Mix

Dear Ms. Anyhooo,

I need your thoughts as to what type of intervention could be done on a little issue I am having. You see, I am what one would call a Southern Belle. And this Dixie Cup fell in love with a cowboy named Austin. Ms. Anyhooo, I confess it was fireworks at first sight. Now, I was raised up a tad spoiled, to put it lightly, and when I introduced my Austin to my Daddy Big Bucks – a tantrum of epic proportions commenced. The very last thing Daddy ever wanted for his precious little girl was to grow up and marry a cowboy!

But as us Southern gals are known for being strong-willed and putting our foot down, I married my Austin anyway. And now I have a whale of a problem. I prepare the most wonderful meals for Austin like: Chicken Salad, Fresh Fruit compote, and Olive and Nut sandwiches on rye- just like our family cook showed me growing up. Our cook was named Olivia from upstate New York, but she trained in a culinary school in France.

It makes no difference what I cook for my sweet man. He is just miserable with what I put on the table. I even catch him up late at night in the kitchen when he thinks I am sleeping. He whips up all sorts of dishes but, his favorite is made with Buttermilk and is a cake-like cornbread. He then comes to bed waking me up with those “pardon my French” smells like charred bread. I feel like a complete failure that this Southern Belle cannot please her Cowboy’s stomach. What should I do?

Signed: Feeling Helpless Azalea


Ms AnyhoooDear Feeling Helpless Azalea ,

For crying out loud child I feel your affliction. And yes, a woman who can’t keep her man happy by feeding him her special cooking is like a nervous cat in a room filled with rocking chairs. Now, just settle down Azalea, this isn’t my first rodeo with this problem. I suspect Ms. Olivia the cook is a lovely lady and all, but lovely is not enough to make you a genuine southern cook. So the first thing you need to do is stop preparing any dishes she taught ya as a youngster.

Next, swallow your pride and ask Daddy Big Bucks for a little advance on that inheritance he is always bellowing about. The fixin for your affliction is an easy one and if it had been a snake it would have bit ya. The time has come to marshal that Sorority belle posse you ride with and find out if they know of any grandma’s who cook the down south way. The way I see it you have two choices here. You can hire granny to be your cook and she can fix Austin Country Soup beans with Ham Hocks, Southern Fried Chicken, Mashed taters, Killed Lettuce and Onions, and of course Buttermilk Cornbread that looks like a cake, for example. Or, you can have this Southern woman teach you how to make all these good eats and impress your man each and every time you plate him a meal.

Azalea, I understand precious this may feel like steppin on your tender toes. But hang in there darlin like a hair on a biscuit cuz I hear those fancy tea sandwiches you love to make are a big hit at certain social gatherings. Reckon you can make up Ms. Olivia’s specialties for other people but for hubby throw a little flour on your face and dig old southern grub deep. I do declare Austin ain’t going nowhere honey!

Anyhooo…there is no reason to get your feathers all fluffed up Azalea there are always many ways to getter done. Putting on that apron with confidence and you cooking up a southern meal might be the way to go here…just saying. I just know with a little help from a southern grandma you will not have to lasso your cowboy to come to the table anymore. You and Austin are going to be like two peas in a pod scarfing down good eats forever.

With blessings, you little haint,

Ms. Anyhooo


Ms. Anyhooo writes for the Right Wire Report, who provides common sense down-to-earth answers to your personal relationships on love, life, and everything in between. Spun from the heart of the Tennessee mountain country, follow her on the hashtag #DearAnyhoooAnswers (save this link to your favorites bookmarks). If you have any questions for Ms. Anywhooo to answer please send them to anyhooo@rightwirereport.com or Contact Us.

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Written by Lady Bay

Concerned citizen.

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