Dear Ms. Anyhooo,
Well, I have gone and done it this time! My daughter-in-law, Steph, and I have a rather well-documented history of – how can I say this nicely-ticking one another off. I feel she is too controlling about everything and over everyone, and she feels I am “whichever- way loosey-goosey.” She has this way of making people, not just me, feel like they cannot live up to her standards. This ‘bad blood’ is eight years and three grandchildren ripe if you know what I mean.
This year I opted to rent a great big beach property complete with six bedrooms, a private pool, a beachfront, and all the bells and whistles in the Florida panhandle for two weeks. I invited both my sons and their families to spend a glorious vacation in the sun and have some valuable, making memories with cousins, and family time. Now, believe me, this was not cheap. But my husband passed a few years back, and well, at 57 years young, I know you cannot take it with you …right?
So, over lunch, my daughter-in-law inquires if I plan on swimming while on vacation. I thought it was an odd question since she is aware I attend a country club regularly and even take water aerobic classes. She has been my guest at that pool for many days. Before I even had a chance to answer, of course, I am going in the water, she leans in and informs me that I must have the proper swimsuit for this trip. Then she chastises me for my past options worn at the club, even going as far as stating” It’s embarrassing for a woman your age.”
Well, I was flabbergasted. Oh, but she clarified further, no two pieces and only a skirted one-piece would do! Ms. Anyhooo, I am a very active, fit, and trim 57-year-old who plays golf, tennis, swims and has made a great effort to keep my body in good shape. I am proud of the way I look. I dare say compared to Steph my body is top-notch. I love getting sun on my bones and tanning a bit. I have been wearing two pieces all my life.
Should I appease my whacky daughter-in-law? Do you think at my age wearing a two-piece at my rented beach house in front of mostly family is inappropriate?
Signed: Gertrude the Bikini wearing Grandmother
Sistah! Hold on just one dadburn minute while I stop giggling my girdle too tight! You have me busting a gut over here, no lie. Why, there’s a tree stump somewhere out in the Louisiana Swamp with a higher IQ than our little Steph. Sometimes the nerve of some people just floors me.
Sweet lady, I assure you my silliness or light-hearted opening does not mean I missed that this coupling has been a long, slow simmering, burr in the saddle-type boil. I can only imagine how much crow she has been dishing up through the years that you have swallowed for harmony’s sake. And while I applaud your sacrifice and fortitude, on this, Steph is as lost as last year’s Easter Egg.
Now Ms. Anyhooo is going to straight-up lay it on ya. Those 57 years of living your life mean you get to live your life any which way you wish, as long as it’s legal, (giggles.) And I don’t give a frogs’ behind if you have a rockin body or a granny pooch to boot. Ms. Steph needs to quit ugly like a bad habit. Little miss highfalutin may be a tad envious of her mother-in-law as well. She will come to be a recipient of her judging soon enough. Why I find her lack of respect and appreciation for all your considerations towards her family a showing of poor character. Fret not, she is due for some seasoning up towards maturity over time.
I suspect that many of my readers will expect right about now that I dispense some sage guidance that goes something like this: You should choose a modest, high-waisted two-piece or tankini, or maybe a one-piece with strategically placed cutouts. Well, hell – bells – that ain’t happening!
Precious, you choose your liking and strut like the beautiful peacock you are. And if she or your son says one word, you smile and tell them how good you feel dawning your swim apparel and how happy you are to spend quality family time with your brood. Kill them with kindness and pity the fool, I always say.
Your self-confidence is an excellent role model for the little ones too.
Use some sunscreen and show that belly, you little haint,
Ms. Anyhooo writes for the Right Wire Report, who provides common sense down-to-earth answers to your personal relationships on love, life, and everything in between. Spun from the heart of the Tennessee mountain country, follow her on the hashtag #DearAnyhoooAnswers (save this link to your favorites bookmarks). If you have any questions for Ms. Anyhooo to answer please send them to firstname.lastname@example.org or Contact Us.
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